Sunday 27 December 2009

ITV's "All-Star Impression Show" impresses stars, but not all

Last night on ITV1 Stephen Mulhern presented a comedy and entertainment extravaganza in which celebrities showed off their hidden talents for mimicry. It featured Tim Healy, Mackenzie Crook, Bobby Davro, Sally Lindsay, Mark Wingett, Jerry Hall, Liz Smith, Les Dennis, Joe Pasquale, Eamonn Holmes, Claire Sweeney and David Gest, and included a performance by JLS.



Allegedly hugely overpaid TV presenter Jonathan Ross (pictured left), probably better-known as the husband of pink-haired screenplay writer Jane Goldman, described the show as "Zombie food!".







This may explain why Shaun of the Dead zombie movie star Simon Pegg (left), also known for playing Scotty in the long-running TV series Star Trek, was equally impressed, "A shit tide of contemporary fucksludge," he exclaimed. Pegg, almost 40, often to be seen buying or eating meat on the streets of Crouch End, also asked, "What hope for our children?"









Comedian and creator of the daleks, Bobby Davro, who actually featured in the show, merely commented "Oh dear! Don't want to say any more about that!"










Huge Irish TV funnyman Dara O'Briain said he thought the show was, "Awesome!" but also admitted that he hadn't actually seen it.







Saturday 26 December 2009

Dog bites comedian


TV funnyman Russell Kane was dramatically rushed to hospital last night after being viciously savaged by a terrier. Stand-up comedian Kane, 29, famed for his machine-gun delivery and affectionate references to his Cockney-headed, curry-loving, racist, Neanderthal, scrotum-flashing father, begged his Twitter followers for "TCP and gin". Kane, perhaps best-known for his hilarious monologues on ITV2's "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here Now", was later released from hospital and was reported to be in a kennel condition. He was too busy playing Cranium, or possibly too embarrassed, to comment this morning.

The condition of the dog is not known.